HEALTH FORUM

> Paul Whiting (ginger33@hotmail.com) asked the14thdisciple:
> My girlfriend is cranky. Shes unreasonable, selfish and spiteful and
> blames her menstural cycle for her constant mood swings. Can you give me
any
> advice as to the best way of handling her? Paul, Singapore
>
> a Period is Not somthing you Want to dwell upon, i Can assure you Paun,
but
> it Was once beleafed that the Currs was givened By god to Wommen in
> revenge, for as the Jeasus lay hanging on the cross didst Not the Lesbien
> Roman Gards stab him in The vagina? ye, this wouldst be justyfication
> enouff, for our God Is a vengeful God and will Not hath women messing with
> his Kids.
>
> but The trueth is much simpler than That, and Invoalveth NOT revenge; The
> periods Are simpley gods Way of pundishing men For not keeping thear
wimmen
> preggernent enouff. wommen Crave the condition of preggernancy and it Is a
> mans duty to insure that even if she is NOT preggernent she is At least
> trying . and besides, Paol, if He dident Want you to use Yoar
> god-Givened-Peaness then he wouldst Not have given you 1 in the fist place
> .
>
> a Large industry Has grown up as A result of the mothly witch sells
towels
> and intearnel Devices all Aimed at protecting socierty From the
> unhigeanic act of bleeding from the genetalias. this has fortunately kept
> our swimming pools and Rivers clean for thousends of years Now but - as It
> is with the Oh Zoan Liar - thease simply Mask the simptoms and Hide the
fact
> that only a constently full and Bountyful woomb can keep a womman off the
> drip .
>
> althoaugh This doth Not so far ansewer Yoar queston, Pale, it Is impotent
to
> have some background infermaition So as You can beter unnerstand What yoar
> girfreing is going thrue Evertime she is having her Mendelsohn Cycle
(clever
> readers wiil Have seen my litle Mendelsohn Joak there! thank You, The
> loard, for filling my Head with so much whit!!)
>
> a Wombans Body is disigned to carry on bleeding well into middel age or
> until It is replaiced by the Mentalpause, and in both cases. the Only
> effective treatments are chocolates, deodourant and distance.
>
> you Shouldst Try and make yoar girfriend aware that she Shouldst be
grateful
> to the Farter for his Gennerosity in giving her Moare blood than she
> actuelly needs ! i Am sure thear are wommen throuout the World who wouldst
> giveth thear Right Arm for that much blood, (eaven though the prosess
would
> be futile as Without a Right Arm it would just Spill out from the
shoulder)
> and stress Upon her the impotancy of Riteous Procreatian (as apposed to
> Gratuitus Fornicaition witch is ALWAYS a temptation wheneaver wombmen is
> involved) . above All, Encurrage her to spend moar time gestating.
>
> but I can NOT tell you no moar about periods rite now as i Have to deliver
a
> consignment Of padded-hammocks to the local Weightwatchers club.Goodness
> knows why they Would want them ....
>
> loaf Form yoar old freand 14
> Little Boxes Nursing Home
> Caring for the wants and needs of the needy and the wanty
> http://www.littleboxes.nl
>
>